Men & mental health: time to talk?

• LawCare organised an all-male focus group to better understand the mental health needs of men.
• We found that many factors made it hard for men to seek help: wanting to be seen as ‘strong’ and ‘perfect’, working long hours, uncertainty about opening up, difficulty in expressing feelings, and not knowing where to find help.

LawCare is the mental wellbeing charity for the legal profession. We recently identified that a significant majority (approximately 65%) of the people using our support services were female, with only 35% being male. This prompted us to ask why male legal professionals aren’t talking to us about their mental health.

Research on gender & mental health

Research suggests that gender does play a role in the experience of mental ill-health for men and women. Typically, women are more likely to experience higher levels of internalising disorders such as depression and anxiety, while men experience higher levels of externalising disorders such as substance abuse and antisocial behaviour.

We organised an all-male focus group to better understand why men in law don’t speak up about their mental health. Here is what we found:

Wanting to be ‘strong’ & ‘perfect’

There is a challenge of being both a man and a lawyer. As men, there is still a palpable expectation that they should be strong, not display vulnerability, and be able to shoulder the burden of personal problems by themselves.

In addition, working as a lawyer adds further pressure to this sense of needing to appear perfect to the outside world—the perception that lawyers need to have all the answers. This perception, combined with the expectations men experience, can make it very difficult to reach out for help.

One member of the focus group suggested that we need to redefine what ‘manliness’ requires. It shouldn’t be about downing seven shots of whiskey to prove how much of a man you are—or working yourself towards a state of burnout.

Working long hours

There was a consensus that lawyers tend to take on more work than they have time for—leaving many of them feeling overstretched most of the time. Lawyers consistently work long hours to demonstrate their commitment to the profession or their organisation. This culture can amplify the issues that men face when it comes to talking about their mental health.

Uncertainty about opening up

Men can also be uncertain about opening up about a mental health issue at work, or even acknowledging to themselves that they have an issue.

Men in the legal profession, at all stages in their careers, may worry that seeking help will negatively impact their career or affect their family’s welfare. They might worry about whether ‘the whole thing is going to crumble’; or if they (and/or their career) fall apart, what will happen to their family and who will support them?

Emotional competence

Another barrier that can prevent men from reaching out for help is that some men don’t have the emotional vocabulary to understand or express their experiences effectively. One focus group member reflected on the fact that he had spent most of his life telling people what he thought, but very much struggled to talk about how he felt.

Improving the state of mental health for men in law

It is clear that there are challenges men face within the legal profession when it comes to experiencing, talking about and seeking support for their mental health.

It is vital that men are made to feel safe and encouraged to seek out support when they need it. More importantly, when they do reach out, we need to ensure that they receive appropriate support.

A starting point is to encourage more visible male role models who speak up about their mental health to help normalise conversations and reduce stigma. James McFarlane, a solicitor at Burness Paull in Scotland, is one such role model. He has set up a men’s wellbeing group which meets online every month.

What help is out there?

Many men don’t know where to go to seek support, particularly if they don’t want to talk about their mental health at work. They may find it difficult to talk to their family, partner or colleagues or access formal support that may be offered in the workplace. They can find it hard to let their guard down and be honest about how they are feeling, but ignoring problems and burying yourself in work just to get through it can be counterproductive and lead to burnout and exhaustion.

You may just want to get something off your chest about a challenging client, or you may have longer term worries such as facing disciplinary proceedings; whatever it is, you can contact LawCare for support.

Our support is free and confidential, you don’t have to give your name and you can contact us about anything that is concerning you. We have 25 years of experience in supporting the legal community, and everyone who provides support has worked in the law; we really do understand life in the law and all its challenges.